


Is it worth it?

by ObscureNightmare



Series: The road to Erebor [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Durincest, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 12:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7640728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObscureNightmare/pseuds/ObscureNightmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jealousy is a wicked thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is it worth it?

Kili stared at his brother as he slept in Beorn’s house. Watching his chest rise and fall soothed him as his mind imagined a million ways for Fili to die. They had hardly started their quest and Fili had many times put himself in harms way to protect Kili. Even more now that they were... more. Was it worth it? Being with Fili in such way? Was it worth having Fili in such danger to be with him? 

‘It’s not worth it. It’s not worth it!’ Kili repeated in his mind while he tried to remember why in the first place as Fili shouted at him.

“Do you hear me? I don’t like they way you’re looking at her!” Fili screamed as he slammed Kili against the wall, making the sound of bone against hard rock echo through the halls. “You don’t think I see it? What did you say to here anyway?!” He was holding Kili at the collar against the wall as he stared him down with rage. He hadn’t said anything before, but now that they were finally alone in Erebor, he couldn’t hold back anymore. The moment he was alone with his little brother, he had basically exploded.

Kili hissed as the pain in the back of his head registered after being taken off guard by Fili. He would have fallen down if it wasn’t for his brother holding him against the cold rock. His head spun from the impact and Fili’s voice kept tuning in and out as he screamed at him. When Fili let go of him, Kili slid down to the floor with a thud.

Fili paced back and forth in frustration as he glared at Kili on the floor. Several times, he tried to say something, but the words seemed to get caught in his throat. Finally he crouched down in front of Kili and deliberately put his hand on Kili’s wounded leg. Kili’s eyes widened as Fili added a light pressure to the injury. 

“F-Fili...” Kili whispered as he tried to pull his leg away. 

“Did you like it when she touched you?” Fili’s voice was eerie and low as his gaze seemed to pierce Kili. He added more pressure when Kili didn’t answer him. “You don’t think I saw you reaching for her hand?” 

A shot of pain rushed through Kili as Fili dug his fingers into the wound. Kili whimpered as he tried his best to pull his brother’s hand off of him, but to no use. If he pulled, it only hurt more and it was evident that Fili wanted to hurt him. If only Kili could get the chance to explain himself, but the hateful look in his brothers eyes completely paralyzed him. 

Never had Kili seen his brother this way and it scared him. Those blue eyes he loved so much were almost completely black and he didn’t even know that Fili was capable of deliberately inflicting pain on him in this way. But he did know that his cause was valid. She was just so... And if Fili didn’t have to... He got lost in his thoughts as Fili inflicted more pain.

“Fili please!” Kili eventually cried out to his brother as Fili wouldn’t let go. “...Fili...”

Fili stared at him a few seconds more before he finally let go. He sighed heavily as he got to his feet, gave Kili a final look, then left the room. As the door slammed behind him, Kili braced his leg as blood dripped down on the stone floor.

The silence in the room made Kili’s heartbeat almost deafening along with the sound of blooddrops hitting the small pool on the floor. It took more than a few moments before Kili managed to get himself off of the floor and his leg was still bleeding when he eventually got to his quarters. He got his pants off without to much trouble, but the bandages was another deal. Not only were they somewhat stuck, but as soon he let the pressure off, the wound bleed even more. 

He stared at the blood running down his thigh. He was in bit of a shock as to what his brother had done. Never did he mean for it to go that far and never had he thought his brother was ever capable of something like this. The man who had sworn to protect him no matter what. The man who would give his life for him. But then again, that was what Kili wanted to prevent.

Kili scrambled for water, but it soon ran out and he had to go to the well at the far end of the vast halls. It was not a walk he wanted to do, but the wound could get infected if he didn’t clean it thoroughly. He didn’t even bother with the pants since his shirt was long enough to cover his knees.

Using the walls for support, Kili made his way down the halls, leaving a trail of blood behind him. It wasn’t much though, just some drops here and there, but he felt it all the same running down his leg. By the time he got to the well, his leg was covered in little red streams of blood.

The first bucket Kili got up from the well was simply poured over the leg along with the second and third bucket. After that, Kili sat down with the water next to him and started to clean out the wound. It hurt like hell and he winced every time he was even close with the cloth. Fili had managed to tear the newly heeled skin.

Kili brushed away damp hair from his eyes as he tried not to push to hard on the wound. It felt as his skin was on fire and his whole leg aced. Sharp inhales echoed through the halls when ever he got to close.

Kili didn’t know how long he had sat there before he heard footsteps behind him. He knew who it was, but didn’t turn to see. He wasn’t sure if was out of guilt or anger towards him, but probably both.

Fili sat down next to him without a word. He simply took the cloth out of Kili’s hand and rinsed it in the bucket before he continued to clean Kili’s wound. Now and again, Fili would glance at his little brother to see if he would react to his touch. It broke his heart to see him flinch.

When Fili was done cleaning out the newly teared wound, he got out some bandages he had brought with him. Carefully, he applied it around Kili’s leg and stopped the bleeding. After, Fili simply sat silently next to him staring at his bloodied hands which he from time to time dipped in the bucket to clean them off.

Kili couldn’t help but wonder how Fili could be so gentle and vile at the same time. They had fought before through their whole childhood and many times ended up with cuts and black eyes, but never intentionally tying to really hurt each other. If things did get out of hand like they often would, Fili would always take so good care of him. ‘At least that part hasn’t changed’ Kili thought as he looked at his brother. The look he saw in Fili’s eyes when he deliberately hurt him was unlike anything he had ever seen before. It scared him to the core.

“Kili, I-” As Fili reached for him, Kili flinched. The sudden break of the silence between them startled Kili and the reach of Fili’s hand didn’t help. Fili quickly withdrew his hand when he saw his little brother reaction and buried his face in his hands instead. “I’m so sorry, Kili.” He softly whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Kili sighed as he saw his brother was clearly remorseful for what he had done. He could hear it in his voice that he meant what he said.

“I... Um...” Kili tried to start. “I just thought that if we wasn’t... I mean if we didn’t...” He trailed off as he shifted his leg a bit. It was already feeling better from Fili’s care. “If you were mad at me then you wouldn’t...” Kili trailed off again in a mumble.

“Wouldn’t what?” Fili asked as he looked up from behind his hands, but Kili didn’t answer him. “Kili? I wouldn’t what?” When Kili still didn’t answer him, Fili reached for his face and this time, Kili didn’t flinch. Instead, he laid his hand over his brothers as he leaned into his touch. “Kili...?”

“I thought if you were mad at me, you wouldn’t worry so much about me and-”

Fili didn’t let him finish. Instead, he pulled Kili in and kissed him. He knew what Kili meant all too well and it felt as if his heart plumeded as he heard Kili say it. Kili was afraid Fili would die protecting him so he tried to push him away. Fili would also gladly do it if it was needed, but it never crossed his mind that Kili was afraid of it.

Fili deepened the kiss as he wrapped his arms more around Kili who desperately embraced him back. Never had they fought like this before and Kili wasn’t sure when the last time he and Fili were apart for so long. If one could even call it that. But never again.

Kili gasped as Fili all of a sudden picked his little brother up in his arms and carried him back to their room. Once there, Fili placed him carefully down on the bed.

“She didn’t mean anything. I swear.”

“Shh, little brother.” Fili shushed him as he gently kissed Kili’s feet. “I know what you were trying to do.” More kisses were placed as he massaged Kili’s feet. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it.” Moving his hands up Kili’s calves, making circle motions with his fingers, Fili kissed even more, slowly making his way up. “I’m sorry I didn’t understand.”

When he finally reached the wound, Fili kissed it as gently he possibly could before he ran his hands up Kili’s abdomen and chest, removing his shirt in the process. He then removed his own clothes and lied down next to Kili, pulling him close and burying his face in the nook of Kili’s neck.

“I love you, Kili.” He whispered. “I’m so sorry. I love you.” Fili’s voice cracked as he pulled his little brother closer. Guilt was tearing him apart and he almost felt sick.

Feeling Fili’s hands all over him again, Kili shifted to face him. He kissed his brother then so passionately it made his heart ache for more.

“Show me then.” Kili uttered between kisses. “Show me you love me.”

“I shouldn’t.” Fili answered back as he pulled away. “You’re hurt and-”

“Then be gentle. Be the caring and loving brother I know you are.” Kili pulled Fili back in and kissed him again as he wrapped his arms around him. It didn’t take long before Fili gave in to his little brother.

Pushing Kili over onto his back, Fili moved on top of him. There he slowly rocked his hips against Kili’s, making him moan softly against Fili’s lips. Feeling Kili’s naked flesh against his own, Kili’s nails down his back and sweet tongue against his, numbed the pain he felt in his heart. He loved his little brother more then anything or anyone in this world and he would make sure Kili would never doubt it again.

Pushing Kili’s legs further up, Fili sank slowly onto him. There was nothing forceful about it and Kili let out a low, long moan as he did. It was just what they both needed. To be close. To be one again. To forget what had happened between them. The slow, deep movements and intense kisses between them were so filled with passion and love it felt better than it ever had before. Like it was the first time all over again with the need and longing, but with even more love. This is where they were suppose to be and they both knew it. Maybe it was worth it after all.


End file.
